Everything dies at some point, it's just when it dies that people think they can control. And they'd be right.
It doesn't have to be ideal. Ideal is for people who can afford it, or for those who lucked out. If life wants to destroy him, then it destroys him. That's not up to you.
He had ideal. [ which is what bothers him the most about this. he had been someone with a life, happiness, fulfillment, and someone else carved that out of him. for what? convenience? dagger's right in that ideal is for people who can afford it, and it's rare. ] Just life? Like what, fate?
Of course it's not up to me. I have nothing to do with him.
Because feelings as you humans explain it is aberrant behavior for Keluuvi. Who I am is who my predecessors were, and their predecessors, and their predecessors.
We're literal parts of someone else, tied together, and grown. To feel something individual is to deny what I was, who they were, what we are.
We feel as one. "My" feelings shouldn't exist in the first place.
You'd think that. Humans don't understand half their feelings most of the time. It's easy for Keluuvi to know what we feel, because we know where we come from, and what we've felt before.
[ And for the first time, Dagger takes a pause before replying. ]
FROM: dagger@cdc.org
I was cut off. When I volunteered. For all intents and purposes, I can't really go home.
They didn't ban me or anything. It's kind of impossible to, since "part of the whole" and whole, they'd be banning themselves too.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Not yet, maybe. What's your preference?
They're the "house," so to speak. The heart-half is what resides in it.
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Here I thought you just wanted me to kill people. Preference?
I can see how that makes sense. They could be then, yes. Rogers and Barnes. Maybe if the latter gets more of who he was back.
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It's not the only thing, have some patience.
I like him as he is, to be honest.
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By all means, please, put off new and strange means of planetary destruction as long as you like.
He's miserable how he is.
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Are you actually asking?
Happiness is a little overrated, anyway.
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For you to put it off? Would it actually matter? It'll happen one way or another.
Living tortured isn't anywhere near ideal. I wouldn't be surprised if his mind destroyed him before anything else.
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Everything dies at some point, it's just when it dies that people think they can control. And they'd be right.
It doesn't have to be ideal. Ideal is for people who can afford it, or for those who lucked out. If life wants to destroy him, then it destroys him. That's not up to you.
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Then I'm not actually asking.
He had ideal. [ which is what bothers him the most about this. he had been someone with a life, happiness, fulfillment, and someone else carved that out of him. for what? convenience? dagger's right in that ideal is for people who can afford it, and it's rare. ] Just life? Like what, fate?
Of course it's not up to me. I have nothing to do with him.
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Not really, but it's supposed to help people feel better. Therapy is weird.
If it's got nothing to do with you and him as a unit, why even bother asking about it? It doesn't affect you, but you're still concerned. Why?
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Fate is? There's nothing more damning and helpless as the concept of fate. What therapists have you been to?
[ a pause between messages here ]
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
I'm not asking anything. Don't worry about it.
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None. Talking about feelings is problematic for Keluuvi.
Caring is tiring, isn't it.
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Why? Do you cry ice tears and then have to get a window scraper?
Exceedingly.
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Because feelings as you humans explain it is aberrant behavior for Keluuvi. Who I am is who my predecessors were, and their predecessors, and their predecessors.
We're literal parts of someone else, tied together, and grown. To feel something individual is to deny what I was, who they were, what we are.
We feel as one. "My" feelings shouldn't exist in the first place.
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Not one person, many people? It seems like that would equate out to more emotion as opposed to less.
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
So all your ancestors were assholes?
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You'd think that. Humans don't understand half their feelings most of the time. It's easy for Keluuvi to know what we feel, because we know where we come from, and what we've felt before.
[ And for the first time, Dagger takes a pause before replying. ]
FROM: dagger@cdc.org
I was cut off. When I volunteered. For all intents and purposes, I can't really go home.
They didn't ban me or anything. It's kind of impossible to, since "part of the whole" and whole, they'd be banning themselves too.
But if I went home, I wouldn't be welcome.
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FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
Why? You did this to save your race, didn't you?
Why would you effectively exile someone securing your existence?
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I made that call on my own. Independent thought.
It's a fair trade.
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It's martyrdom.
FROM: benjamin.jonathan@cdc.org
What does that make you now, if you're cut off from the whole. Every moment here would be independent thought on your part, wouldn't it?
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I'm something of a curiosity to my bosses, and an abomination to my people. No hard feelings.
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Curiosity to your bosses? Why?
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I'm a special snowflake.
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...If that was intentional, it was the worst joke I have ever heard, and you should feel bad for it.
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FROM: dagger@cdc.org
It's an accurate description of me.
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I'm embarrassed for you.
[ dagger, that was like dad humor. ]
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FROM: dagger@cdc.org
Why, it was funny.
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I've forgotten what day this thread even started omfg
Re: I've forgotten what day this thread even started omfg
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