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Day 41

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

I hope you were serious about letting me kill people. A man has needs. Urges.

Re: Day 41

[daggertype]

FROM: dagger@cdc.org

Ah. Man with conviction. Good, you're hired.

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

I'm so excited right now, you don't even know.

but seriously. stabby stabby? bang bang? blood and gore and yaaaay.

[daggertype]

FROM: dagger@cdc.org

There's actually a few splinters that need to get tweezed out, but contracts and stuff, you know, I can't kill my own guys. It makes me sad.

FROM: dagger@cdc.org

Specialty?

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

espionage tactics, assassination, marksmanship, guns

also, you know, I can't die. gimme a grenade and BOOM goes the dynamite.

[daggertype]

FROM: dagger@cdc.org

I wouldn't bank on "not dying", but I'm sold on the rest. Hmmm I'm thinking.

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

let's go with really hard to kill, then. I mean, how many guys do you know can survive being beheaded?

is this the part where I sing the jeopardy theme?

[daggertype]

FROM: dagger@cdc.org

Try the metal van. I don't think it has a real head.

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

the whosie whatsit?

oh. yeah, okay, fine, point. but I'm way better than a metal van. I offer witty banter!

[daggertype]

FROM: dagger@cdc.org

Then the challenge is in engaging the metal van in combat with a cool monologue. With a backing track, if you can get it to work. I think some of the kids here have a sound system.

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

is this a challenge.

because if this is a challenge, you're fucking on. that van will slink out of here in shame.

[daggertype]

FROM: dagger@cdc.org

50 credits say the van will win anyway.

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

I'm going to agree with that, just so I can get the credits.

a man needs his booze.

what if I blow up the van though. what then.

[daggertype]

FROM: dagger@cdc.org

Well if he dies, you're a murderer. But I will congratulate you.

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
wait is this a real dude

I thought you were fucking with me

I'll totally win if it's a real dude

[daggertype]

FROM: dagger@cdc.org

It's a real dude. He looks like a metal van. You've not been listening.

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

you never said looks like, you just said metal van

here I am thinking like 'free puppies and chocolate' van

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

beat the tar outta the van with sick beats in the background while engaging in hilarious monologue. I'm so excited.

[daggertype]

FROM: dagger@cdc.org

It's a guy who's a metal van. This isn't hard to understand. Why would a van have puppies?

FROM: dagger@cdc.org

So can you do it?

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org
TO:
for all the little children!

and oh yeah. I can do it.

[daggertype]

FROM: dagger@cdc.org

Cool, we're cool.

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

you're cool.

[daggertype]

FROM: dagger@cdc.org

I know. I'm ice.

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

ice ice baby.

[daggertype]

FROM: dagger@cdc.org

I can't beatbox.

[gobbledygook]

FROM: wilson.wade@cdc.org

I got your back, it's cool.

Ba na na nananana. Ba na na nananana. Ice ice baby.